blink.
blink.
what did i really want to get out of my experience? how could i face my emotions for the first time and give thought to what i'm feeling?
so i tried putting all of this jumbly nonsense into words. and i did! and it actually felt rather terrific to do so. and relieving. yes, wow! and so here it is! i can't wait to look back on this this summer and smile and sigh and giggle and maybe even cry a little? a happy cry, of course. {i hope}.
so i tried putting all of this jumbly nonsense into words. and i did! and it actually felt rather terrific to do so. and relieving. yes, wow! and so here it is! i can't wait to look back on this this summer and smile and sigh and giggle and maybe even cry a little? a happy cry, of course. {i hope}.
Dear
Summer of 2013 Self,
It’s November 20, 2012, and in exactly
two months I will be jetting across the continent to begin an experience of a
lifetime. I’m scared. I know deep down somewhere within me there are little
cells bursting with excitement, but right now, they’re being outweighed by a
tummy full of nerves and thoughts consumed by fear.
I think one of my greatest fears as of
late is just getting there. You know my lack of common sense can be
rather extreme at times, and traveling (in a foreign country, ehem) is one of said times. I’m afraid
of missing my family. What if I can’t be there for them and communicate with
them like I can in the states? I also worry about the unknown, but I am just
sure that once I step foot in Merida and can picture my new life there I will feel
right at home, and you, you old experienced Merida local you, will look back at
this and laugh.
This study abroad adventure will aid
both my academic and personal growth. When I found out that Dr. Mena was going
to be traveling abroad with the Merida group of spring 2013, I knew I had no
other choice but to go. Not only does Mexico give me the opportunity to fulfill my
goal of becoming fluent in Spanish, I will be able to further pursue my degree
in biology by taking the classes offered by Dr. Mena (who is fluent in Spanish, by the way. Is it perfect, or is it
perfect?) It will allow me to overcome that awkward limbo that I feel like I’m
in with my Spanish speaking. Remember that feeling you had, about six months
ago, where you could listen, read, and understand Spanish quite well, but when
it came to speaking you turned into a bumbly, twitchy, uncomfortable,
can’t-form-a-sentence-or-think-of-this-conjugation-to-save-your-life-how-do-you-say-hi-again
kind of girl? (What’s that? You don’t remember what that feels like? Oh good. Good.) Well, I hope know you’ll
overcome it. What an accomplishment that is.
Most importantly, I hope I take
advantage of the situation and make connections – connections with my peers and
the other students occupying the Central house, connections with the locals and
my host-family that turn into life-long friendships, greater connections with
my faith, and stronger connections within myself. I expect that I will truly, truly find myself on this journey (and
even though I believe I already have a pretty strong idea of who I am, I know
that if I say that you, future reading-this-right-now Rachel is rolling her
eyes and sighing, What a naïve little
girl! She had so much yet to learn! So I will refrain from any additional
thoughts on this here subject).
I cannot wait for this adventurous
expedition. I can’t wait to travel. To explore. To listen. To speak. To eat (a
lot). To learn. To experience a new culture and traditions. To take lots of
pictures. To be put out of my comfort zone. To create a new comfort zone. To
sleep in a hammock. To adapt. To learn to not be afraid of fish or getting
shanked. To sweat. To watch Spanish soap operas. To meet William Levy (fine,
this isn’t guaranteed but he HAS been spotted in Merida, therefore I am
DETERMINED – you better work on that future me!). To grow. To write all of this
stuff down so I can relive it forever and ever.
¡Buena suerte!
Rachel
No comments:
Post a Comment