could i have planned my re-entrance into the cyber world more poorly if i'd tried?
probably not.
but hi, cyber world!
here i am, re-entering.

i just just just put the finishing touches on my graduate school applications for the coming fall semester.
i feel free! like i can breathe again! and write again! and think clearly again! about things other than myself and my interest in student affairs and issues in higher education and IF I HAVE TO ENTER MY LIST OF REFERENCES AND THEIR CONTACT INFORMATION AND ATTACH MY RESUME AND TWEAK MY COVER LETTER ONE MORE TIME, i swear. 

that kind of thing.

yes, applications for graduate school. as surreal as it seems i'm taking the leap and honestly feeling pretty giddy about it. (i realize i have a lot of explaining to do, and since the least i could do for my big future is dedicate an entire little ditty to just it, i'll put this discussion on pause and catch you up on all things "rachel's future" in the coming days. we'll "table it." that's how they phrase this action at important, fancy sorority/club meetings and such, right?)
so, it's been a while. honesty hour:

being abroad and tackling each day of constant unknowns with the lingering, guilt-ridden dread of facing the graduate school admittance process upon my state-side return muddled up my creative thought process a bit. this is the sad, sorry, inexplicable truth for my silence.

throughout the entire semester i felt a complete and utter lack of inspiration and motivation to write and it left me thoroughly discouraged. the more time passed, the more i pushed to write something, anything, and in turn, the harder it became. i think the pressure to write consistently and document my experiences to their full worth and potential combined with the ever-growing list of things i was eager to write about left me feeling overwhelmingly disheartened rather than flooded me with inspiration and drive like i thought it would have. with that, it kind of fizzled altogether.

i've come to peace with the terms that maybe i just suffered through an inconveniently-timed bout of writer's block, and i've decided that instead of stressing over the perfection of a post and struggling for the exact right phraseology for each and every sentence and finding just the appropriate amount of light humor to weave through my heartfelt words, i'm just gonna go -- i'm going to forget about the pressure of finding the ideal words and write. write what's on my heart in that moment and let the words find me. and i think then, things will start to fall into place. because i've missed blogging, i have, and i think this new season of my life is ready for it again.

so here i am, this is me, setting my creative heart free and letting it tell the story for me. one of my goals for last semester that i did follow through on was journaling - not only did i achieve that goal, but i'd say i did so with flying colors and have an entry from almost every day i spent over seas! although i'm already back and re-adjusted in the states, i'd like to virtually reminisce about my experiences, trips, favorite memories and lessons learned from my travels (intermingled with random snippets from my coffee-drinking, pizza-cutting-and-ice-cream-scooping, little-sister-supporting, family-carpool-directing, poodle-snuggling life as i know it at the moment, of course!). nostalgia and reversed homesickness is real and raging, my friends!

i hope you'll join me on this little trot down memory lane!